Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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