There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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