Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
