what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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