Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
