god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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