I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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