1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
