I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
