I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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