you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
