...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
