the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bring me that man meat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
