What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
