That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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