i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
