He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
