no, he came in my armpit
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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