I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
