Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize