i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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