One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
