is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
