his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
