2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
