she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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