one two three fourrrrnication!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
