i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
