is this the sara with the beer cane?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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