Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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