): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
