can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't put those talents on a resume
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
