on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
