There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
