I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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