He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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