I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
