You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
