problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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