just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
