Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
