it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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