using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
