Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
