You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
