i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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