I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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