I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
