i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
