dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
