I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
should my penis look like a turkey
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
