And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
