You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish my penis had an off switch
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
