grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We left the knife in your bed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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