can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
