you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
