Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.

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(239): View more from Florida

I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.

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(407): View more from Florida

What's he like?

(954): View more from Florida

The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.

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(719): View more from Colorado

You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.

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(516): View more from New York

He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family

(202): View more from Washington, DC

In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?

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