Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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